Fish Heads

you eviscerate me with your tenderness
drawing your brutality across my heart and lungs
hypnotizing my abdomen with your torture
you take away my viscus, life as usual fetishizing my uncoiling
nuzzled in my withdrawal
discarding guts and flaying my heart for your pleasure
I watch you unsheathe your annihilation
throwing out my liquified joy
the herring fresh in a bird's hungry mouth, devoured for nothing, taken from the river
perhaps if I were some deity savored for my taste things would be different, but I'm simply not
I search for signs, dodging the fisher who still snatches me up, caresses my gills and washes my fins, scooping out my liver and slicing up towards my head
I feel life's pain in my jaw, refusing to be its honeyed prey
please don't filet me, my skeleton is natural and mine to rip out
is it a sin to love?
blood in my throat, your lips withdrawing from the bite you took out of me
I feel you suck the breath from me like a parasite
I'm told to be patient with myself, mold cramping in my stomach, esophagus, and mouth
the healing stinks and the curing pricks, my nervousness strained against my psyche
but I'll always tear away from this blood blister, wiping off the pain, as always